Some more About Me
So here we are...!!
Speaking a little more about myself. I was born & brought up in Pune, after which I shifted to Mumbai with my family & was extremely unhappy with this whole shifting business. But, here we were now...in the city that’s famously known as the City Of Dreams. As a few years passed by I agreed that Mumbai is indeed a Beautiful place & has its own charm. One doesn’t even realize when they start getting so attached & end up becoming inseparable from this city. This City of dreams actually casts a spell on you like...you know. But yes, like I said here I was. I did my Graduation in Hotel Management & became part of the Hospitality Industry soon after my graduation. I have been part of this industry for 11 years & I have been lucky to gain exposure to various departments during my tenure. While working time & again I started noticing that my major interest lied in helping people around me in every possible way. And soon I also figured out that, making them a better version of themselves and enable them to work at their best caliber is also my passion.
“In order to rise from its own ashes, a Phoenix First Must Burn” – Octavia E Butler, Parable of the Talents.
Personally, life has been full of ups & downs since childhood. I come from a dysfunctional family and shit hit the roof for us when I was at a pretty young. So as a result of this, there were futile arguments, fights & daily encounters within the house, and also with the outside world kept pushing me into a very dark space mentally. I tried being strong throughout & stood by my mother against the whole world (people around & banks) for whom we were easy targets then. But unfortunately, what also happened slowly and steadily was that I became a punching bag at home. I was constantly yelled at, shooed away, I became someone on who was used to remove their anger and frustrations, which confused me to the core wondering, what have I done? This whole scenario made me feel over & over again that I am a complete Looser & a worthless piece of crap. I kept absorbing everything for over 7 years which are considered to be crucial years for every child. As a result of this, I had started falling ill like once every 3 months. . Little did I know then, that, it was my way of wanting to get love & affection but, all in vain. I used to be yelled at, for falling ill too saying, “You can’t take care of yourself or what?” “How at such a young age you falling ill repeatedly”. While all this continued, I didn’t even realize when I fell prey to depression. This was brought to attention when we consulted a psychiatrist who said that I am going through Acute Clinical Depression.
I wasn’t sure of what’s happened honestly then, as I was hearing this term “Depression” for the first time. But, yes I had figured that Depression is extremely debilitating. This feeling of extreme sadness, feeling lost, lonely & numb was what, being depressed felt like. Unfortunately, this was yet another chance for me to now start hearing some more comments in addition to the older ones like, “What’s wrong with you?” “How can you have such a weak will power?” “Eww, you are so pathetic that, now you’ll take medicines for trying to be happy.” Listening to this, I also thought that, how pathetic I can get that, I will take medicines now to be happy...& so I decided I will not take any treatment & teach my brains to be happy. People probably understand this now, but if you go back in time like over a decade back people thought as if it’s an attention call. For me, depression had become that pile of dirty laundry that you don’t want to show to the world, because people will just think of you as a weak mental retard. So I started living a dual personality. Even though every day there was a whirlwind inside me that made me feel I’m breaking down, I still went out, putting on the happy face & I did it so well that people knew me as a happy go lucky chill person.
Anyways....the same chaos continued. Being honest, I am not an avid reader but I did read up on depression. And as I was finding out about that, in less than a year’s time I was diagnosed with a thyroid-related issue. I started reading about this condition too. By this time I was 17yrs and I almost reached the stage of getting suicidal thoughts. But, yea nothing actually changed at home. A couple of years down the line I ended up attempting to commit suicide. Unfortunately, I didn’t go...I guess it wasn’t my time then.
But, this incident created a shift within me.
“Sometimes, you just have to die a little inside, to be reborn & rise again, stronger & wiser”
I don’t know what exactly changed but I remember, 2 main thoughts that came to my mind when I came back to consciousness & they were firstly, something that my sister had told me, that our soul sees the whole life it’s being offered & decides to live it. I don’t know why these lines came to me then but, yes I figured that I need to find my souls purpose for coming into this life. Why did it want to endure all the pain it did? (Yes, I would like to add here that, I am extremely spiritual and believe that there is a superior power who has a plan for you already.)
And secondly, the line from The Bhagwad Gita saying, “kaalo asmi lok-kshaya krit pravridho…Hey Arjun, do you fail to recognize that as much as everything else, I am death, the Inflamed Kaal, the destroyer of the worlds. For your information, I am here to exterminate all these people and even without you, all those warriors arrayed in the enemy’s camp must die. Therefore, Hey Arjun, rise and win glory and enjoy the affluent kingdom. These warriors that you see in the battlefield, they stand already slain by me. maiyevaite nihitaah poorvamev nimittmaatram bhav savyasaachin…Therefore, O ambidextrous one, in this war you be merely an instrument; rise above the dualities that exist in this universe, and, therefore fight, with peace in thy soul.”
Which means, we all are merely instruments and are doing or have to do, what we have been sent for on earth. Since then I was dying to find out what is my life’s purpose? And that is when I realized that, I want to help people like me, understand that they are worthy of living a good life. They are worthy of being happy. They are worthy of feeling confident in their own skin. They are worthy of love. So I again started my search and that’s when I stumbled upon the idea of becoming a Coach. The minute I heard & read about it I instantly knew that this is what I want to do...like big time!
And so here I am, A Certified Life Coach & an Upcoming Author, who has now dedicated her life to her innate urge to help people tap into their potentials, rewire themselves for attaining positive growth in life, help let go of things that were holding them back in life & not adding value to them & also understand the importance loving & appreciating yourself.
Before, we go back to the main page...I would really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for removing the time and reading about me....!!!